Friday, December 29, 2006

Hogmanay

A few blogging cat pals have asked me what Hogmanay is. Firstly, it has nothing to do with hogs which are sort of big pigs. Hogmanay is completely different. This is what happens.

At midnight it is traditional to sing
"For Auld Lang Syne" by a human called Robbie Burns (published in 1788 - so it's very old). Then loads of fireworks go off like these ones over Edinburgh Castle (the humans really like this but us cats and dogs sometimes find it a bit distressing).

Then it's important to welcome friends and strangers with warm hospitality and a kiss to wish everyone a 'Guid' New Year. This is to ensure a clean break with the 'auld' year and welcome in a fresh New Year.

Finally, the best bit is "First footing" (the "first foot" in the house after midnight or "first paw" if you're a cat). This is done to ensure good luck for the house. The first foot should be male, dark (believed to come from Viking days when blonde strangers arriving on your doorstep meant trouble) and have with them symbolic coal, shortbread, salt, black bun and whisky. These days, however, whisky and perhaps shortbread are the only items still prevalent (and available) - although if you're coming to our house you could consider bringing catnip or cat biscuits as well.

I certainly hope everyone has a happy 2007
Love Faz

All is quiet on the Wimbledon front

Not much happening today. The girl human is in Scotland until hogmanay (which is Scottish for New Year apparently) and the boy human is at work. I am taking the time whilst they are away to draw you a map of my territory so I can put in on the blog in the New Year and show you all my favourite places. You may think cats are unable to draw? Well, you probably thought cats couldn't blog either? Yet I have many blogging cat pals to prove you all wrong.

Thursday, December 28, 2006

I am so embarrassed



I somtimes wonder why I bother with humans. For some reason they think dressing me up to look like some sort of perverted reindeer is vaguely amusing. No wonder I look so discombobulated. I trust, dear friends, you will sympathise and not make fun of how I look in this photo?

Wednesday, December 27, 2006

Christmas Celebrations

The humans had their party on the 23rd December. They actually moved all the furniture in the front room to the back room to make space. People started arriving at about 7pm and didn't leave until hours later. It was quite scary because everyone was standing around talking and I had to sneak through their legs without getting stood on. There was also a couple of very small humans who insisted on trying to catch me. Fortunately they weren't very stable on their kitten legs. Human kittens are so clumsy.

Christmas Eve was very quiet as the humans were out all day so I had plenty of recovery time, then Christmas Day was relatively quiet too. Just three people and they didn't do too much except relax and eat - they could have been cats really.

Friday, December 22, 2006

two exciting things to tell

Yesterday morning a big truck stopped in our street pulling a machine behind it. Four men jumped out and started pollarding all the plane trees that line the footpaths. Then they put the branches they had cut into the machine and it turned the branches into snow-wood. There's snow-wood all down the street now and, with all the fog, it looks like proper snow. The best bit is the whole street smells like the inside of trees which is a really wonderful smell.

The second exciting thing is that the girl human often works in Geneva (which is not in Wimbledon but somewhere called Switzerland). Sometimes she brings things back with her. Last time she went she bought back a glass jar with something called Rillettes de Canard inside. She had it on french bread last night and she gave me a tiny morsel to taste. Ecstasy!

Christmasy Hugs - Faz

Thursday, December 21, 2006

Not bad for a cat - huh?

You Are a Practical Gift Giver

Your gifts are useful, appropriate, and custom tailored to each person.
In your opinion, the best gifts are gifts that someone will actually use.
Your gifts may not be the most glamourous, but they are always appreciated.
p.s. got this via one of my favourite blogs - Skittles' Place (see Links)

P.S.

It's very foggy so you can't see the end of the garden. It's been like this for a few days. It's also ZERO degrees because of the freezing fog. At some point, yesterday, the heron flew off and is no longer on the pond on Wimbledon Common. Do you think he ate all the fish and frogs and that's why he left or do you think his feet got too cold?

Good news everyone


The humans will be here for Christmas. The suitcase belongs to someone who is staying with us for the party. They are very friendly and really like cats and let me sleep with them on the sofa bed when they go to sleep. Also, even though we don't have a tree, we have this great big decoration made from pine and pinecones and apples and something called cinnamon which smells rather good.

I am feeling much more relaxed now. Faz


Wednesday, December 20, 2006

Not again ...

Oh no! I went into the front room this morning and the suitcase is packed again. My plan is to sleep inside and try to go with them. Do you think they will notice?

Tuesday, December 19, 2006

Home Alone!


Guys, I can't believe what happened this weekend!

They left me alone overnight and went to somewhere called Italy without me. I was a bit suspicious when they packed a small case and went off early Sunday morning. At first I didn't worry too much as they left plenty of food and water.

Then it got dark, and the heating and night light came on as normal. They also left a special cat bowl with food in it but it had a funny lid covering it up. It was a bit of a shock when I was sniffing it at about 7.30 PM (which is my normal supper time) and it sprang open and bonked me on the nose.

It was quite good having the whole bed to myself at first but I did get a bit lonesome at about 4 AM with no humans to snuggle up to.

The next morning some really nice humans called Bob and Miriam, who live two streets away, came and visited me. We played games and then they left me some more food for breakfast and dinner but I ate it all for breakfast.

At midnight on Monday the humans arrived home at last! I purred and purred and purred and rolled over and showed them my belly. I was so happy to see them.

Friday, December 15, 2006

Five of my Favourite Foods

  1. Tuna (of course!). Canned is fine but fresh is best
  2. Chicken Flavoured Cat Biscuits
  3. Luscious Little Mice
  4. Grass
  5. Parsley (except the girl human gets a bit fussed when I eat it off the pot on the window ledge in the kitchen)

Cat's Diary versus Human's Diary


Human's Diary:
Dear Diary, I haven't seen Faz all day, hope she's okay. I really worry about her wandering around on the common and crossing the roads. I know she crosses the little side road near the house but I really hope she doesn't cross the big main road as well.

She never seems to spend much time in doors in this mild weather. She just comes in to eat or sleep. Maybe she's found another human who feeds her as well?

I know I am not home much during the day so she must get lonely on her own.

I particularly worry when she goes out early in the mornings. I've tried keeping her in but she really needs to get out an explore before the day starts. She could get chased by a dog or anything.


Faz's Diary:
Great day, went out early. Came home. Ate. Slept.

Thursday, December 14, 2006

It's official



Humans who own pets live longer, have less stress and fewer heart attacks. Makes sense to me.

Today's view from the cat flap

Well the heron in the pond has now moved about 3 feet.

The foxes and squirrels are as active as ever but still no sign of prickly hedgehog (I hope he's okay as I hear they're a bit confused this year due to the unseasonably warm weather). I also hear they quite like eating cat biscuits but I am not sure I am prepared to share.

Little robin redbreast is doing his thing and we have a small band of green finches hovering around the holly.


Not much else to report. Hugs Faz


Wednesday, December 13, 2006

Another Faz Fact




Did you know that the 'love of cats' is called 'Ailurophilia'. I call it 'completely understandable'.

Cats and Trees



Calling all cats who love playing with Christmas Trees and Christmas Decorations. Isn't it great fun? Well you can imagine my shock when I heard the humans say they weren't getting a tree this year!

I am now going to lie down on my sheep skin rug and sulk for the rest of today.

I am insulted

The humans have a machine in the kitchen which they use to cook their food. It's called an oven. Why they feel the need to cook their food I do not know? Anyway, it hasn't been working very well lately so a man came in to fix it yesterday. When he pulled it out from the wall he found a little mouse nest and assumed their had been a mouse living there. Fortunately it was long gone.

The humans blame me of course because they think I brought it in from outside and let it escape. That may be the case but I am sure I didn't let it hang around for long enough to exploit the situation.

Faz

p.s. The heron is still there and doesn't even look like he's moved. He's just like a garden ornament, standing exceptionally still for long periods of time in the shallow bit of the pond. Not my idea of a good time - not moving with my feet in cold water - but each to their own I guess.

Monday, December 11, 2006

Frosty Toes


I know I am obsessed with the weather but it does affect my life enormously. Friday night was dry and cold so we had a big frost Saturday morning which was a bit cold on the old tootsies. It's hard to sneak up on prey when the grass is crunching. Went up to the common at dawn and their was ice on the pond for the first time this winter. Sunday was rainy again and when I went up to the pond again this morning it was full to overflowing for the first time in my two and a half years on this earth. There was a big grey heron standing on the edge like a pond ornament not moving - scared the life out of me! It was bigger than I am.

Faz

Friday, December 08, 2006

Fascinating Faz Fact

Did you know that a cat's normal body temperature is 101.5 degrees fahrenheit? This is warmer than humans which just goes to show why we are so cute and cuddly.

View from the cat flap


What a night! Even more rain and then, about 5 am, the most terrible sound like a baby crying. I stuck my head out the catflap to see what was going on and braer fox and another fox I have never seen before where having a big scrap.
I have no idea what they were fighting about but they were definitely not happy with each other. They even woke the humans in the houses next door.
I am not one for needless violence - sorry - what am I talking about - I am a cat so I am absolutely one for needless violence but, that aside, I would definitely not want to get on the wrong side of braer fox!

Thursday, December 07, 2006

Cat Facts from Faz

Did you know that the oldest cat on record was from England? She was called Puss and she died one day before her 36th birthday in 1939. I plan to live to be at least 40 cos I heard the humans say "Life begins at 40". I will be 3 next year, so I have a bit to go yet!

p.s. I found this pic on www.foalfarm.org.uk who look after older cats and dogs who don't have anyone to love them

Let it paw, let it paw, let it paw ...

My goodness, the weather is getting worse. Last night we had gale force winds, battering rain and hail. The weather man said that it's due to the abnormally warm weather we are having for this time of year (most days it's around 12 degrees and it should be 5 or 6 degrees I've been told). Apparently we can expect 2 months more of rain and blizzards. Great for mousing but not so great for staying dry maybe I will turn myself into an umbrella like the one above.

Oh well.
Faz
p.s. It's really exciting cos now I am a member of the Coats of Many Colors Crew (see my badge right)

Wednesday, December 06, 2006

It's party time

It's been raining again, so I spend all my time looking out the cat flap waiting for it to stop. There is good news though. The humans are getting ready for their annual Christmas Eve party. 4 crates of champagne arrived yesterday and they've made me a cave with the boxes. It's so exciting, you can sneak inside and go to sleep and nobody even knows you're there. I hope they keep them!

Love Faz


p.s. What do you all think of Video Blogging? I've just mastered typing with paws.

p.p.s. Are there any other cats out there having trouble uploading pictures to their blogs?

Tuesday, December 05, 2006

The weather outside is frightful


I've been stuck in all morning but at least the rain has stopped now. I'm enjoying the fresh air, just sitting here, keeping an eye on things. Wood pigeon is sitting on the fence watching me watching him, all fluffed up because of the wind. Robin Redbreast is staying out of my way. Cheeky Squirrel is sitting opposite me eating a nut she's dug up, doesn't seem the slightest bit perturbed that I am here watching her.

Quasimodo


"The bells, Esmeralda, the bells!"

I don't believe it, they have now put another bell around my neck. There is a little robin redbreast in the garden again this winter and last winter I got hold of his brother and ate him. Consequently the humans are not taking any chances with me this year.

What do they expect. Catching birds is entirely natural for us cats and the little Robins are hoppin' and boppin' all around the ground just asking to be caught.

Oh well, at least bells are seasonal. I can pretend it's Christmas decoration.

Three Bells Faz

Monday, December 04, 2006

Panic Over

Well chaps, after a rather scary Friday and Saturday I found out I was worrying for nothing. As you may have read in Friday's blog, I overheard the humans say they were "going out on Saturday and getting a black cat". Now, I didn't want another cat in my home so I was in quite a state by Saturday evening.

Anyway it appears I heard it all wrong, what they actually said was they were "going out on Saturday and getting a black cab" (that's like a yellow taxi for all those who live in the US). What a relief!

In addition to that little misunderstanding, it's been a busy weekend. Here are the top five highlights:

1. two mice (yum yum)
2. big wind blew the wood pigeons' nest out of the tree (they didn't seem too bothered as they tend to use it in the spring only). It smelt good though - just like delicious baby pigeons.
3. one big fat jay tempted me all weekend but I couldn't catch her
4. no foxes (although I did spend most of the weekend in bed to try and calm my nerves)
5. nearly caught one of the cheeky squirrels - got within inches of her tail.

all in all a very successful weekend methinks.

with love from Faz

Friday, December 01, 2006

Dear Humans

There is an alternative to getting another cat. See Little Faz right. She's virtual, doesn't need feeding, a litter tray or a cat flap. Love Faz

Scary news


Sorry I haven't written for a few days but I've had some rather scary news. I overheard the humans say they were going out this Saturday and were going to get a black cat.

I am a nervous wreck!

Why do we need another cat? I am beautiful and furry and therefore everything a human could possibly need.

What am I to do?

Yours in panic
Faz

Monday, November 27, 2006

Vote now


Let me know which is your favourite 'Cat' film by voting (right). If yours isn't there let me know and I will add it to the list.

Hugs Faz

If I wasn't a cat

I am a
Snapdragon

What Flower
Are You?

I saw this on Skittle's blog and thought I would give it a try.

Apparently if I wasn't a cat I'd be a snapdragon. I have tried eating them and they don't taste too good. I like eating grass and I especially love rubbing my face in catnip. Then I run round and round the garden till I drop. Now that's my idea of a party.

View from the cat flap

What a weekend for weather. It rained, it hailed, the wind blew. The streets were flooding and the car alarms were going off.

Nearly all the trees are bald now. The plane trees and the cherry tree have no leaves and the wood pigeons have disappeared. The damsons have one or two leaves hanging on tenaciously and the old pear tree had one brownish pear dangling precariously off the end of a long thin branch. Then that was gone too - I blame the cheeky squirrels.

Speaking of which. I spent all Saturday morning (in the dry bits between the downpours) chasing those rambunctious squirrels out of the garden. Just as I was thinking "Job well done!", I see the girl human feeding the blasted things with pecan nuts and encouraging them.

Sometimes I wonder why I bother with these people

Frustrated Faz xx

Friday, November 24, 2006

A Little Jaunt to India

Well not India really, just the local Indian Restaurant.

I noticed the humans were popping out all dressed up in their coats and scarves last night, so I thought I would follow them. They ended up going quite a way on their two legs, down several streets and through the tunnel under the railway tracks. They stopped to have a meal for an hour or so, and I explored a bit and then waited patiently for them near the entrance.

Imagine their surprise when they were leaving and saw me sitting outside. I thought they'd be pleased but they seemed to look a bit stressed instead. They have a completely useless sense of smell so they had no idea I'd been following them. I walked them home afterwards just to make sure they got back safely and they seemed so pleased they gave me a can of tuna for supper.

Arrrrrr tunarrr - my favourite. I must follow them more often.

To sleep 'purr'chance to dream


My owners keep covering up the furniture so I don't get cat hair on everything when I have a snooze. I can't think why, as each and everyone of my hairs is 'purr'fect.

I got the last laugh though. Here's a picture of me snoozing under the mat rather than on top of it. He He He. You should have seen their faces.

love FAZ


Thursday, November 23, 2006

Did you know?


Sir Isaac Newton, who discovered 'gravity', also invented the cat door.

Thank you Sir Isaac.

My Top Ten Cat Films


1. That Darn Cat (Disney should re-release this film - it's a classic)
2. Cat Ballou (cowboy cats in cowboy hats)
3. Cat People (strange cats)
4. The AristoCats (posh cartoon cats)
5. Cat on a Hot Tin Roof (cats in the deep south)
6. Bird Man of Alcatraz (geddit?)
7. Octopussy (love that new Bond, shame he's not a cat!)
8. What's New Pussycat (60s cats)
9. Josie and the Pussycats (cool cartoon cats)
10. The Cat and the Canary (1939 version not 1979)

So many cat films so little time.

Hugs Faz

Toad of Toad 'Shed'


This morning I discovered another visitor to my garden, one I'd never seen before. It was a big, ugly, flat, brown toad. It was so big, ugly, flat and brown that at first I thought he was a stone.

He lives under the shed next door and I only found him because he was poking his nose under the gap in the fence. I went over to touch him with my paw to say hello (or to find out if he was edible - being about the right size for a hearty meal) and he crawled back under the shed.
Not sure if I like Brown Toad and I definitely won't be eating him.
Faz

Wednesday, November 22, 2006

Lots of Luscious Little Mice


I found out that the greatest number of mice killed by one cat was 28,899. Her name was Towser and she lived in Scotland until she died in 1987, at the age of 21.

That is 4 mice per day on average. The best I've ever done was 3 mice in one day but then I am only 2 1/2 years old and am still honing my skills.

Nevertheless, I am so jealous!
Faz

Rain, rain, go away ...

There's pawprints on sheets and mud on the bed
There's pawprints on pillows and wet fur on my head

There's mud in the kitchen and pawprints on floors
There's mud on the counters and on cupboard doors

I want to go out but it's to doggone wet
So I think I'll lay down and just sleep lots instead

A poem by Faz

View from the cat flap




Things are getting quite metaphysical around here.



This morning, just after midnight, I was looking through the cat flap and saw one of the smaller foxes run across the garden like his tail was on fire. I could swear he had a crisp packet on his nose. Weird!

Then, at around 6 am I was snoozing on the end of the bed. I stretched, opened one eye and happened to notice that one of the cheeky squirrels was outside peering through the cat flap like he wanted to come in. What could he possibly want from my house? I would have chased him off but I couldn't be bothered.

What ever will happen next?

FAZ

p.s. I overhead one of the humans say that cats are colour blind!
I am shocked! Does anyone out there know if this is true?

Tuesday, November 21, 2006

Thanksgiving













All my American friends tell me it's
Thanksgiving this Thursday.

5 things I give thanks for:

1. LLM (luscious little mice)
2. My beautiful garden in Wimbldeon (and Wimbledon Common where I roam)
3. My favourite blog sites -Skittle's Place and Cat Blogosphere

4. The fact that I am beautiful and furry
5. Humans with tin openers


The Faz

Greetings from Wimbledon



Thought you might like to see where I live. The two big trees with the path running down the middle are my main turf and then all the gardens going to the right (which you can't see) also belong to me. The cheeky squirrels and strutting wood pigeons (with the white collars) live in the the two big trees you can see near the middle of the picture. Braer fox lives bottom right with his foxy wife but they pretty much stay in their lair during the day and don't come out until late at night. Prickly hedgehog and all the Luscious Little Mice live in that area too (but this time of year prickly hedgehog is asleep under the compost heap).

This picture was taken in summer. At the moment there are hardly any leaves left on the trees and the ones that are left are golden brown.

Cool huh?
Faz

What do you think?

Are cats superior to dogs
Are cats superior to dogs
Cats
Dogs
Both have their merits
Make Free Online Polls

Thursday, November 16, 2006

Great blogs and toilets



Blog Of The Day Awards



Did you know that there are some great blogs out there written by humans?
They are more interesting than I ever imagined. At first I couldn't find any other blogs written by cats for some reason but then I found loads. It's amazing how many intelligent cats there are out there (which is another reason I know that cats are superior beings). I think you can vote for great blogs by clicking on the above icon. So, go for it. If you see a good one tell the world.
Also, did you know that Sunday is World Toilet Day and:
1. The average human visits the toilet 2500 times a year, or about six-eight times a day. They spend about 3 years of their life in the toilet.
2. A girl human spends, on average, three times longer per visit than a boy human, yet there are usually the same number of toilets in each public convenience.
3. The Queen of England has to have a new toilet seat everywhere she visits. It is then destroyed if she "goes".
4. Cats dig a hole and then bury their mess. This is extremely environmentally friendly and means they can go just about anywhere.

Once again, I have proved that cats are superior.

Love Faz ]

Good and Bad

Another busy night, lots happening. Some good, some bad.

Good: Lots happening animal-wise in the garden so masses to see and do.

Bad: It was raining

Good: Hardly any leaves left on the trees, so I can see just about everything from my position on the roof.

Bad: The chimney wasn't working so it wasn't very warm.

Good: I caught a Luscious Little Mouse for my midnight snack - yum, yum.

Bad: Braer fox was joined by another foxy friend and two smaller foxes - who are they and where have they come from?

Good: No sign of hefty tabby since our little contretemp.

Bad: Humans were a bit cross about LLM leftovers in the hallway this morning.

Good: The obviously forgave me cos I got a can of tuna for breakfast. Tuna in springwater is my favourite, tuna in brine is my second favourite, but I hate tuna in oil.

a presto
il gatto

Wednesday, November 15, 2006

Chim chimeny


Well, well, well. I have discovered something quite exciting now the weather is getting colder. The house next door is quite old - humans call it Victorian - and it has a chimney sticking out of the roof (like most houses around here).

I have never been quite sure what the purpose of this chimney thing is but now I know.

I was sitting on next door's roof yesterday night and gray stuff starts puffing out of the chimney (that bit wasn't so nice) but then the chimney got quite warm. If you sit right next to it you can stay out on the roof for ages. Plus it's a great view up there.

I think I have found my new home away from home.

Faz Y

Tuesday, November 14, 2006

Grand Central Garden

Morning All

I had a fun weekend all in all, hope you did too?

The leaves are coming down from the trees big time, so I had hours of fun chasing them around the garden. I also discovered this really good game where you run into a big pile of leaves and try and bury yourself in them. The best bit is it smells ever so good underneath (dirt, grass, foxes, snails, apples, earthworms, moss, etc.).

Cheeky squirrel and friends have been really busy. They dig holes in the grass, bury one nut in each, then stamp up and down several times to makes sure the nut has been well hidden. I have been keeping a note of where everything is buried - knowledge is power after all.

Braer fox has also been out and about. At the end of the garden there's a special path that runs alongside the fence and is used by us animals. I saw foxy running along there early Saturday morning and again on Sunday. By the time I got down there to have a go, braer fox was long gone. Obviously knows not to mess with The Faz.

And it's not just braer fox, hefty tabby has been showing its face a lot too. We had words, I made my point clear about whose garden this is, and I think he got the point.

One thing that bothers me though, I haven't seen prickly hedgehog for a while. Wonder what he's up too? Maybe he's moved gardens?

Love Faz

Thursday, November 09, 2006

Things that confuse me

Dear Friends




There are two things about humans I just don't get.



1. Why do they spend so much time trying to find me when they don't really want me?

The amount of times the humans spend looking around the house and calling me back from the Common just to check I am okay. What do they think I am - a human child with no ability to look after myself?

For example, I was asleep the in washing machine the other day cos it was nice and warm. They started calling and calling and eventually I managed to wake up from my dream about an LLM (luscious little mouse) and popped my head out to see what all the ruckus was about. When they saw me they acted like I was the prodigal cat, made me get out of the wonderfully warm washing machine for some reason, then didn't even bother to feed me.

2. Why do they get so upset about me trying to follow them when they leave home?

For instance, when they go to catch their train in the mornings, I walk along behind them for three for four blocks just to keep them company and check out where they are going. Usually I yowl, just to let them know I am there. When they turn around and see me they get all flustered and insist on taking me home.

To cut a long story short, why do they always want me when I am not around and then don't want me when I am?

Confused of Wimbledon


Wednesday, November 08, 2006

Cats versus Humans, etc.


Dear All

Another night mouse hunting on the Serengeti, well Wimbledon Common actually, but that's by the by. Looks a bit like the Serengeti at dawn though, don't you think?

Anyway, really upset the girl human this morning, although it wasn't deliberate. Caught another mouse around 4 am and brought it inside to eat it. Because I am on a diet and because I am a Caring Cat who looks after its humans, I left a bit behind to share with them. The head and kidney from memory.

Anyway the girl human gets out of bed at 6 am to get ready for work and steps on the remains. What a palaver! Screaming, shouting, verbal abuse

That is the very last time I bring them a present.

Which got me thinking. Not only are cats superior to dogs, they are also clearly superior to humans as well.

10 Reasons Why Cats Are Better Than Humans

1. Cats can catch their own supper without help
2. Cats don't need to wear clothes
3. Cats can lick themselves clean (ever seen a human try that - doesn't really bear thinking about?)
4. Cats have a good sense of smell (it was quite clear the mouse was beside the bed)
5. Cats can see in the dark (ditto my comment above)
6. Cats have better hearing (therefore, there is no need to scream so loudly after standing on said mouse)
7. Cats have four legs
8. Cats can jump higher and run faster
9. Cats don't need to use those stupid water closet things
10. Kittens are cute, baby humans look like pink slugs

Once again, I have proved my point.

Love Faz

Tuesday, November 07, 2006

Luscious Little Mouse


Dear Friends

Very hectic weekend. Was out Friday night on the tiles as usual and managed to catch myself a rather delicious LLM (luscious little mouse). Took it inside to show the humans and, as predicted, they went into freefall panic and made me drop it.

LLM ran under the sofa and seemed rather pleased to have escaped my unwanted attentions. With the extra weight I'd put on lately I was unable to get under the sofa to get it back (maybe the humans are right about that diet). The humans then spent the next 24 hours trying to find the little blighter so they could let it go into the outside world.

Well, LLM would come out every couple of hours or so and sit there as bold as brass washing it's little face and paws or looking for crumbs left behind by the humans. Everytime they spotted it, the humans would try and catch it in order to save it from little ol' me. They would go into a panic with towels, torches, pieces of cheese, humane mousetraps etc. (and are clearly devoid of any stalking skills). What a laugh, they kept me amused for hours.

Anyway in the end they went to bed and I did what I do best. Nuff said.

Just so you know, there was no sign of braer fox this weekend (although it was rather cold and I did spend most of the weekend indoors or asleep on the bed). I did spot a rather hefty tabby strolling nonchalantly through my garden on Sunday. Don't mind hefty tabby using the garden occasionally as long as it doesn't start to stake a claim.

TTFN
Fazzie

Friday, November 03, 2006

Neighbourhood Watch

Dear All

I have been watching from my sentry post all night and no sign of braer fox. It's been fairly cold and there was frost on the ground this morning, so I was surprised at all the activity. I have seen:

4 wood pidgeons (have you seen the size of those things - now they would make a good meal if only I could get one through the cat flap - trust me, I've tried)
5 other little birds
several slugs
1 arrogant mouse (but I was not fooled into leaving my station)
6 cheeky squirrels (at least I think it was six of them, it could have been the same one six times)

Speaking of cheeky squirrels, they must keep getting pears from the next garden over and eating them in my garden when I am not around. There is pear skin everywhere and it does make quite a mess. I don't understand why the humans don't get cross about this cos when I leave bird feathers everywhere they get really, really angry and go all red in the face and throw their arms about (hence the reason I am now encumbered with two large bells on my collar).

Anyway, around 7 am I go in for breakfast, jump up on to the kitchen window for a quick wash before resuming my post and who do I see run across the garden? That cunning, conniving, calculating, mouse stealing, braer fox.

Braer fox I'm watching you!

Growl
Faz

Wednesday, November 01, 2006

Braer Fox and Egyptian Cats

Well, following yesterday's foxy incursion into my garden, I lay awake nearly all night in case he showed up again. I have to tell you the weather was pretty nippy and winter is definitely on the way. Anyhoo, around 5 am I decided to go inside for a snack and to check on the humans, so I jumped up on the bed for a few seconds just for a quick wash. Next thing I know, it's 8 am and I'd been asleep for nearly 3 hours.

By the time I got outside there was no sign of braer fox but there was a definite whiff of fox in the air. Tomorrow, I will make sure not to leave my post.

Now, in the interests of educating all of you about the superiority of cats, here is something exciting I learned on the internet. The cat (of which I am one of the more superior examples) was first domesticated 4000 years ago and was held in high admiration and esteem by the Ancient Egyptians.

Two points on this worth noting:

1. Why have we been held in high esteem for only 4000 years? Humans can be a bit slow.
2. If humans think they domesticated us, then we have fooled them. We actually domesticated them. I mean look at how the word is spelt - 'domestiCATed'!

Apparently, Mafdet was the first Egyptian feline deity but the most famous cat goddess in the world was Bastet. There were cats who lived in temples who were the 'embodiment' of Bastet and they were served upon and taken care of until they died, then they were 'mummified' and treated with much dignity and reverence. I have no idea what 'mummified' means but I bet it's pretty impressive.

I was thinking of leaving this exciting information around for my humans to read. I have to say, sometimes I think they take me for granted.
Purr Purr Purr
Faz

Errata


Good morning friends.

Apologies, it appears I got a couple of important facts wrong in my 10 Reasons Cats Are Better Than Dogs blog yesterday. Thanks to all my kind supporters for pointing this out to me.



xError 1 - cats ALSO come in a variety of shapes and sizes.

I was reminded by quite a few friends that there are tigers and lions et cetera, however, I think this just goes on to prove my point anyway - as tigers and lions are clearly vastly superior to any kind of dog I can think of.

xError 2 - (and I have to tell you this one shocks me) apparently their are some furry felines out there that DO drink out of the toilet bowl.


YUCK! YUCK! YUCK! Needless to say I would never consider such an option whilst there were humans around. After all, what they don't know won't hurt them.

Anyway on to the important topic of the day - MY LIFE.

Had quite a disturbing morning. I was sticking my head out the cat flap about 6 am (I was keeping my body inside as it was about 3 degrees in Wimbledon this morning) and who is walking across my garden but none other than braer fox. The nerve! Not only was he walking through my garden as bold as brass BUT he had one of my mice in his mouth. I know it was one of mine because it was gray and I own all the gray mice in Wimbledon.


When I confronted him with the evidence still in his mouth, he took one look at me, swallowed it with one gulp, and ran off under the fence smiling. I am furious! Who does he think he is!

Tomorrow I am going to lie in wait and show him who is top cat around here.

a bientot
FAZ XXX