Tuesday, January 30, 2007

Top Tips

Dear Blogging Pals

Thank you so much for all your help and tips on how to catch these squirrels.

I put matches out last night but they got damp so I need something water proof. Chase suggested a lighter so I have found one of those plastic lighters which I am going to leave out instead.

Daisy suggested that I should supply alcohol too, as many like to have a drink with their cigarettes. Sloe Gin was her suggestion and I really think that's a good idea as I know the squirrels love to eat all the sloes in the garden in October.

Mints were also suggested - which is brilliant - the last thing I want to do is catch a squirrel with bad breath.

Then I thought maybe a little neon sign e.g. FAZ'S PLACE, then the squirrels will know where to come - it's all very exciting.

Sunday, January 28, 2007

Match Maker Match Maker Make Me a Match

Well, after the first day the cigarettes packs were still hanging around unopened and the squirrels seemed to be ignoring them.

By Day Two I was starting to get worried my plan wasn't working as the packets hadn't even moved.

Day Three it snowed and you couldn't even see the cigarettes.

Day Four it thawed and the cigarettes were still there.

What to do? What to do?
Then it occurred to me (and I am embarrassed to have to tell you this) I forgot to leave matches. Clearly the squirrels can't smoke the cigarettes if they don't have matches. I wonder if I should leave an ashtray as well?

Tuesday, January 23, 2007

Smoking Squirrels

I've had a brilliant plan to help me catch cheeky squirrel thanks to Sebastien (see Chronically Sick link below). He's got a squirrel that smokes ( he doesn't say what) and I happen to know that smoking is very, very bad for you.

So, here's the plan. I am going to leave packets of cigarettes around the garden to encourage cheeky squirrel and his cronies to start smoking. If I can get them up to 20 a day, that should take a bit of the puff out of them and slow them down enough for me to catch them.

The only problem now is how to get the cigarettes. Wish me luck. FAZ

Friday, January 19, 2007

I was not happy

Well I knew the girl human was off cos the wheelie case was out again on Wednesday night, but the boy human didn't seem to be going anywhere so I thought I'd be fine. The next day, the boy human goes off to work as normal and then the wind and rain started. I hid inside - it was horrible! Branches were coming off trees, roof tiles were hitting the ground and smashing and I'm sure I saw cheeky squirrel blow past the window at one point.

Then disaster. No one came home. I waited and waited and waited. My stomach started to rumble, and then growl, and then moan. Eventually the boy human staggered through the door soaking wet (he "claimed" all the train lines were down).

Didn't he know I was home alone and hungry? He should have walked or even crawled if necessary in order to get back to feed me.

Then, the girl human came in shortly after (apparently her plane got cancelled and then the next plane got delayed and she was stuck in Geneva). Eventually a flight took off and an hour and a half later she bounced into land (with people throwing up their dinners in little bags beside her). At least they'd had some dinner to throw up! All in all, quite exciting, apart from the empty tummy bit.
Moral of the story: eat bigger meals just in case.

Wednesday, January 17, 2007

I wish Jack Bauer was a cat

Found this on Tankboy (see his link below). The "top 24 facts about Jack Bauer". Purr FAZ


Bird Soup

If you look really closely at this picture you will see me drinking water out of the birdbath (as viewed through the kitchen window). I have several favourite sources of water but here are my three favourites in reverse order:

3. Off the garden path after rain (this has a very interesting bouquet - light on the palette with a full finish)
2. Out of the toilet (this has a rich aroma with a hint of background spice and earthiness)
1. Out of the birdbath (this tastes just like bird soup without the crunch)

Warmest FAZ

Tuesday, January 16, 2007

T-cubed Toosday

This is me with my favourite TOYS on my favourite 'cat nap mat' (try saying that quickly - it's enough to make your whiskers twitch). There's Richard the Lionheart, Cutsie Kitten and Binka my catnip mouse (you can just see the tip of his orange tail behind my head). I beat up Richard quite a lot (but then he deserves it cos he's got an irritating face), I ignore Cutsie most of the time and Binka's my favourite. I've had Binka since I was a kitten so he's catnip doesn't affect me like it used to but he's got a long tail which makes him easy to carry around the house. Happy Toosday FAZERLICIOUS

Indoors or Outdoors - the debate continues

Well, my indoor plan doesn't seem to be working very well. I was doing fine, then I remembered I needed to go to the 'powder room'.

Anyway I headed across the garden to do it under my favourite pine tree (where it's nice and dry) and just as I finished I saw cheeky squirrel. So, I chased him over the fence and across the next door garden and over their fence too. Then he escaped. Then I saw cat alley (which runs behind the houses) and decided to explore that, as I hadn't been down there a while. I got to the end and came to the little side street where there is the occasional car, it looked safe so I went across to where braer fox lives to see if he'd been around. I couldn't see him but I could definitely smell him and his cohorts. I followed his trail to the railway tracks and walked along the embankment for a bit until I came to hefty tabby's territory. Hefty tabby and I don't get on, so I was mega cautious walking through.

Then, I spotted hefty tabby on the far side of his space and hid down wind until he moved on. I raced across his territory until I got to the back of the houses on the far side of where I live and walked along the fences heading back towards my house. I stopped on one of the garden sheds for a while, just to check out what was going down. I saw 4 little green finches darting and diving in a bush and thought about having one but it was too much like hard work and I really prefer luscious little mice when I can get them.

After a while I jumped off the shed and sauntered back along the rest of the fences until I hit the road in front of my house. Now this road is a little busier than the original one I crossed so I had to watch carefully to make sure it was safe. I crossed without any problem and ran down the side of the house back into the garden.

Here is my conclusion. I like indoors and outdoors. I reckon if I spend 2/3 rds of my life indoors that will be 2/3 rds of 15 years (see blog below) and that should get be to about 10 years which is a pretty good age in my book (obviously I will try and make 15 or more if I can). Indoors is probably best and I know a lot of my blogging pals prefer it but I am going to do some of each (at least until I get a bit older). FAZ

Monday, January 15, 2007

I am definitely staying in!

I read over the weekend that the average age for an indoor cat is 15 years, whilst the average age for an outdoor cat is only 3-5 years. ONLY 3-5 years!!! That means if I stay outside all the time I am already middle aged. Based on this information I am now only moving from the bed to the kitchen to eat ... and back to the bed again. I will have to arrange for the mice to come inside if they want me to catch them.


Thursday, January 11, 2007

Where not to sleep

A few considerate cats were concerned about my blog yesterday which showed me a asleep in the tumble dryer. Luckily, my humans always make sure I am not in the dryer before turning it on. These concerned cats raise a good point. As a cat that's been around a couple of years, I have learned that there are some places it's best to avoid when you fancy a quick cat nap.

In order to prevent frustration, discomfort and embarrassment, the above are some top tips on where NOT to sleep (for the younger, more inexperienced amongst us). Hugs FAZ

Tuesday, January 09, 2007

T-cubed Toosday

Dear Toosdayers, I don't have any pictures of my toesies or tum but here's one of me in the Tumble Dryer which begins with 'T' - does that count? FAZ

Monday, January 08, 2007

Parental Discretion Advised

I'm sharing these graphic pictures of catnip overdose victims not to shock but in the hope that readers will understand that what might seem like an innocent pastime can lead to unforeseen and often shocking consequences ... FAZ

Cool weekend

Very exciting weekend this weekend guys. First of all I caught my BIGGEST ever mouse. It was nearly rat size but not quite.

Second and even more exciting, the sewer overflowed on Saturday and we had raw sewerage all over the garden path and on the lawn. The humans were very upset but I loved it. It smelt so good! I kept going up to it to have a SMELL and check it out. I was dancing up and down on my little paws with EXCITEMENT. The humans called an emergency plumber and he opened up a hole and put things down it to unblock it. The humans locked me in the house cos I kept trying to get close to have a look at the hole and I think they were worried I might fall in.

After the plumber left, the humans spent hours hosing things down and putting bleach everywhere. Ruined everything - I much preferred the raw sewerage. Then the girl human gave me a wash, which is just not right. Us cats are perfectly capable of bathing ourselves. The humans think I am DISGUSTING.

Everything was great except for the washing bit. FAZ

Friday, January 05, 2007

I 'heart' blogging

You 'meet' some wonderful people out there when you're blogging. I get so excited when I come across an interesting blog site and want to visit it again and again. The dilemma is that you also want to find new ones too, so where do you get the time?
There's so many fantastic bloggers I hope you don't mind me sharing Five of my current Faves in no particular order (don't worry they're not all cats):

This lovely, kind person lives in Oregon and looks after strays and helps out other cat owners

Skeezix is one cool cat and hangs out in California

This wonderful lady from Michigan really does 'post at the speed of light' and a day doesn't go by without me reading her blog if I can help it

Every day poet - can she really post a new poem everyday? See for yourself.

This is a Brit living in China teaching English. Doesn't post much but he's definitely worth a visit.

Enjoy FAZ

Thursday, January 04, 2007

Oh - ha ha ha!

I can take a joke as well as the next cat, but I am not sure how much more humiliation I can take! Sigh! FAZ

Wednesday, January 03, 2007

Faz in Fez

The humans think they are so funny. After my comments yesterday about putting accessories on cats they thought it would be amusing to put me, Faz, in a Fez. You will be pleased to know I didn't pose for this - it was done in photoshop.

It's pathetic really, sometimes I don't know why I let them live with me!


Tuesday, January 02, 2007

New Year's Resolution

Eat more tuna

Cats with or without acoutrements?

After last week's embarrassing picture with antlers (see December 28 blog below) I found a site called Stuff on My Cat (see links).

I personally prefer to go 'au natural' but each to their own. Vote for what you think on the right.

Thanks Faz