Friday, May 04, 2007

My Thursday Thirteen PhD (a day late)

Dear All, I have just passed my PhD in the Superiority of Cats. I studied via correspondence for several months (errr minutes) with the University of Natural Sciences in Katmandu and for a small fee I received my graduation certificate.

I did my thesis on the Advantages of Cats versus Dogs (with apologies to Oscar the Puppy Cat).

Here are my THIRTEEN main findings:

1. Cats have 9 lives
2. Cats always land on their feet
3. Cats come in relatively consistent shapes and sizes
4. Cats never have dog breath
5. Cats don't perform demeaning tricks for humans
6. Cats don't drool
7. Cats can bathe themselves
8. Cats don't howl at the moon (what IS that about?)
9. Cats don't do embarrassing things in public (you know what I mean!)
10. Cats are much cleaner and can bury their own mess
11. Cats don't drink out of the toilet bowl (at least when humans are watching)
12. Cats don't knock things over by manically wagging their tails
13. Cats don't rely on humans for validation - they already know they are wonderful

If anyone else has anything to add I would love to hear it.

23 comments:

=^..^= said...

Cats can hunt fur mousies and lizards fur their beans.

Cats purr at about 26 cycles per second, which is the same frequency as an idling diesel engine.

And cats can rotate their ears 180 degrees, locating the source of a sound ten times faster than the most capable watchdog.

Aren't we just grrreat?

~Bombay

The Meezer Gang said...

This is a great list. I add this: Cats don't stink!

Empress Bee (of the High Sea) said...

cats are furry particular about what they eat. and they smell lots better than dogs!

smiles, auntie bee

Riley & Tiki said...

Regarding #2 - Unfortunately, Vincent who came before never landed on his feet if he fell (He usually landed on his feet when he jumped.) Mommy says he was clumsy just like her.

The Crew said...

Such a wealth of information. Thank you so much for sharing with those of us who haven't had the chance to study abroad, Faz.

We doubt if Oscar will take offense since he IS a cat after all, and understands our superiority!

Forty Paws said...

Congratulations!!!! Are you going to have a Graduation Party??

Luf, Us

Daisy said...

Oh, I can tell you have been studying very hard, Faz. I have been thinking and thinking, and I am pretty sure that cats can jump higher than dogs. Because we are much more agile.

Caesar and Princess said...

Oh this is shockingly accurate. I bet you graduated at the very top of your class.

We agree, dogs are ridiculous!

Eric and Flynn said...

That'a very good list Faz, but I haf to disagree wiv #8. Yoo want to try living wiv Flynn. He goes out in our outside run at night when me and the Beans are sleeping, and off he goes. "YOWL, YOWL YOWL" At the top of his voice and skeers the life out of us all.
Eric

Monica said...

That seems like a very good list to me. I don't have a lot of experience with dogs, so i can't offer any more ideas.

jeter harris said...

deer faz,
dis iz a informativ ... an refreshin tt ... i meen ft.
yer verree smart!
luv--yer grate frend--jh

Karen Jo said...

Congratulations on your PhD. You look very handsome in your mortarboard. Here's another one for you. Cats don't chase cars or children on bicycles, yapping their silly heads off.

Catzee said...

Ooooo! Yur soooo smart! If I effur have any questions, I'll come to you fur answers.

Big Piney Woods Cats said...

My sister, Mittens drools when she makes da biscuits.

Patches

Lux said...

Every cat is like a work of art, only better. :)

Parker said...

All good things about us! We can purr and dogs can't! We are just wonderful cretures!

Pat VVV Caza said...

Cats always land on their feet...
yeah but,
what if you fix a slice of bread, peanut butter side up, on top of the kitty and throw it out the window ?

Suzanne said...

oooh, congratulations on your PhD, Faz. That's quite an accomplishment. Shall I now call you Doctor Faz? Professor Faz? Let me know...

love
--suz

Maria & Stefano said...

Happy graduation day...you look fab!!!

Zippy, Sadie and Speedy said...

We need to do this correspondence course. We are brilliant and need our PhD's.

Sebastien said...

Faz, I even heard that cats can flush the toilet! Rare is the dog who knows how to do that...

Anyways, congrats on your diploma, you are going to go far (dare I say, Prime Minister of Britain!!!!?!)...

Kim and Oscar the Puppy Cat said...

I'm actually cat big Man Cat but yes, I sometimes get confused. I sometimes act like a dog. My first Momma was a Great Dane named Tipper. He was a good substitute Mommy until my real one came along!

This is a great list!

Ariel said...

Great list Faz :)