Monday, February 26, 2007

I've been tagged by Benji


1) Four places I have lived:
the house where I was born, somewhere in Surrey England
my first owner in Chessington who got sick and went to hospital
my first owner's mum who looked after me whilst she was in hospital
my current home in Wimbledon (see picture above)
2) Four things I love to watch:
cheeky squirrels
arrogant wood pigeons and other birds in my garden
my food bowl timer (in case it opens)
the world outside my cat flap
3) Four places I have been outside my home:
The chimney on the house next door (where it's warm)
Braer fox's den
Across the street and down the back alley where hefty tabby holds sway
The kennels when my humans went on holiday (I hated it)
4) Four websites I visit daily:
Daisy
Dragonheart
Pablo
Skittles
5) Four of my favorite foods:
Tuna
Chicken Cat Biscuits
Tuna Cat Biscuits
Butter (when the humans forget to put it back in the fridge)
6) Four places I would rather be right now:
my mat on the sofa
my mat on the end of the bed
my window ledge in the kitchen where I watch the outside world
the chimney (on the house next door where it's warm on cold days)
7) Four toys I have owned and played with:
Richard the Lionheart
Cutsie Kitten (she's not real)
Binka my catnip mouse
Any real mouse I have caught and played with
8) Four nicknames my staff have tried to assign me:
The Faz
Faz Bucket
Faztastic
Fazalicious
9) Regarding Catnip:
Passion
Hysterics
Histrionics
Madness
10) Regarding Cat Grass:
Never tried it but I like eating grass outside
11) First four things I'd buy after winning the lottery:
A fireplace
A hammock to put in front of the fireplace
A year's supply of tuna
A fridge which I can open
12) Four things I do besides eat, sleep, and use litterbox:
eat and sleep - that's it really
13) Four things I want to do this summer:
eat and sleep in the sun
14) My four most prized possessions that have limited value to anyone else:
my cat toys
the boy human
the girl human
my food bowl
15) What I’m going to do before tomorrow is over:
eat and sleep
16) Which of the following is your favorite place to hide and play? a)paper bags b)plastic bags c)boxes d)Other (explain)
Cardboard boxes with holes so I can stick my paw out and bat people as they walk passed
17) Four other "pets" your staff have kept with you:
We only had Bebington. She was a seal point Himalayan (she was really old when I arrived and because I was quite young I just wanted to play - she got very cross with me)
18) Four furiends I tag to respond:
Pablo - http://meowpablog.blogspot.com/
Jack - http://jackofallshadesandshadows.blogspot.com/
Fat Eric - http://fatericandfriends.blogspot.com/

have fun FAZ

I CAN do this!

I've been getting some really good advice from all my blogging pals on the merits of diet versus surgery and, despite Dr Daisy being the best ever cat surgeon in the history of the world, I have decided to try the diet option first.

I realised things had gone too far when I attempted to steal a whole pheasant this weekend. I got caught reaching my paw through the kitchen window trying to grab it off the window ledge (where it was waiting to go into the oven).

This has got to stop. I now realise food is ruling my life.

From now on I am going to stick to diet food for breakfast, supper and my 3 AM snack. Wish me luck. FAZ

Friday, February 23, 2007

Nip/Tuck


I have a cunning plan. My beautiful friend Daisy has been honing her surgeon's skills. In addition, I have seen Nip/Tuck on TV and know the wonders that can be achieved through plastic surgery so ....

... if Daisy could do me a little tummy tuck and some liposuction then the diet will get cancelled.

What does everyone think? FAZ

Thursday, February 22, 2007

There's nothing sadder than an empty cat bowl!


Now I am not even allowed to eat between meals!

Tuesday, February 20, 2007

Down with Diet Cat Food


Dear Friends

Thank you so much for your support, it is greatly appreciated (especially Little Pink Pig who's going to leave me some treats to sneak indoors).

The humans have still got me on the diet food, and I feel like I am fading away.

How much longer can it last? I have been with-holding my affections (which they have noticed a bit) and I also tried out Empress Bee's advice which was to try biting them to get their attention. It certainly got their attention but didn't get me any more food.

Now I've got a friend to help me make a placard which I am going to put outside the kitchen window. Surely they'll get the hint. Wish me luck! FAZ

Friday, February 16, 2007

I hate diets


This diet thing is getting me down.

These low fat cat biscuits they're feeding me taste like dog food! So, this is my campaign for REAL CAT BISCUITS.

If I don't get REAL CAT BISCUITS as of Saturday I am withdrawing my affection.
NO purring
NO chin rubs
NO lap sitting
and definitely NO pummeling

Let's see who wins this argument!
Frustrated Faz of Wimbledon

Thursday, February 15, 2007

Valentine's Day Leftovers

Last night the humans had a romantic candle lit dinner a deux - there was leftover salmon and I scoffed the lot.

And, on a slightly different Valentine's note, the following Lonely Hearts advertisement originally appeared in the Atlanta Journal:

"Single black female seeks male companionship. I'm a very good girl who loves to play. I love long walks in the woods, riding in your pick-up truck, hunting, camping and fishing trips, cozy winter nights lying by the fire. Candlelight dinners will have me eating out of your hand. I'll be at the front door when you get home from work, wearing only what nature gave me. Call (404) 875-6420 and ask for Daisy. I'll be waiting."

Apparently 15,000 surprised men found themselves talking to the Atlanta Dog Rescue Society.

He, he, he - FAZ

Tuesday, February 13, 2007

It's Valentine's Day Tomorrow




Lots of kisses to all my blogging pals!




Sun bathing


I am getting a new sun room.
It's being built right here where the terrace is. The only difference is it will be dry and warm all year round.

I am also getting my own cat flap so I can come and go as I please. I really, really hope that I will get a really comfortable sun lounger as well, so that I can stretch out in the sun and work on my tan.

I will keep you apprised of progress - FAZ

Monday, February 12, 2007

Diet Advice for Feline Friends

I have noticed a lot of my blogging pals are worried about their weight.

I think I have a fine figure, however, my humans were told by the V.E.T. (the devil in disguise) that I needed to eat 'diet' munchies from now on as I have a propensity to add on the pounds.

I hate diet munchies - they are flavourless.

Here is my diet advice ...

DON'T EAT ANYTHING BIGGER THAN YOUR HEAD.

Faz

Friday, February 09, 2007

Thursday, February 08, 2007

It's snowing ...


and, I've invented a new game.

You collect a pile of snow in your paw and then throw it up in the air and catch it in your mouth. Then you chew it till it disappears (although I am not really sure where it goes).

It's great fun - you should all try it! FAZ

Wednesday, February 07, 2007

What a night!

I think braer fox must be reading this blog.

He was waiting outside the cat flap last night when I tried to go out for my evening constitutional. Because of this I decided to stay indoors most of the night. Then, about 5 AM, I had a peek and it all looked safe (especially as it was soooo cold this morning). After a quick double check of the grounds, I snuck out for a comfort break.

Just as I was trying to dig a hole in the frozen soil, he crept up behind me and chased me back inside.

I made such a noise rocketing through the cat flap I woke up the humans. Then of course I had to keep my legs crossed until he left at about 6.30 am to go home.

What a night? I hope everyone else had a better evening? FAZ

Tuesday, February 06, 2007

Smoke gets in your eyes

Well, my plan has backfired.

I followed the trail of cigarette butts (like Daisy suggested in her comment last night) and it didn't lead to cheeky squirrel's den at all, it lead to braer fox's fox hole. And, there was a big pile of butts right at the entrance.


This means the squirrels haven't been smoking the cigarettes (which sort of explains why they're as fast as ever). It's been that cunning fox the whole time!

You know braer fox is my mortal enemy? He tries to sneak into the house when the garden door is open to steal food and once he chased me across the garden and into the cat flap at such high speed, I broke the cat flap. When the humans found me my tail was so fluffed up it was bigger than I was.

I guess I am sort of relieved. I didn't really want to make the squirrels sick. FAZ

Monday, February 05, 2007

Smokin ...

Firstly, I am very impressed with all the Kittys out their who already do oriental foot massage on their humans.

Secondly, I am getting very excited! The cigarettes and plastic lighters have all been gone for a few days now and I know the squirrels must be puffing away like the squirrel on the left.


I am going to leave some more out tonight.

Once I get them hooked on the nicotine there will be no escape for cheeky squirrel and his squirrel cronies. Then all that sticky tar will make it harder for them to breathe so they can't run so fast.

I do feel a bit guilty about making them smoke but on the other hand if they weren't so cheeky I wouldn't have to resort to such underpaw tactics. FAZ

Friday, February 02, 2007

Oriental Foot Massage


If you cats out there want to keep your humans healthy and happy, have you considered oriental foot massage?

Every morning at dawn I jump on to the bed and walk up and down the human bodies purring loudly. The purring is a form of chanting and helps them to wake up gently. I then find a leg or stomach and pummel really hard with my front paws (on the same spot) to help get their circulation going. Occasionally I will gently nip any exposed skin just to make sure they are fully appreciating the effects of the massage.

NOTE: THIS HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH ME BEING HUNGRY AND WANTING THEM TO GET OUT OF BED AND FEED ME.

Even though my humans bury themselves deeper under the bed clothes I know they really enjoy this attention.

If other cats would like to try this I am sure it would not take long to pick up a few of the more simple massage techniques I mentioned above.

LOVE FAZ

P.S. THE CIGARETTES AND LIGHTERS HAVE GONE - MY PLAN IS WORKING.