Tuesday, July 31, 2007

My Top Three Sleeping Positions


No. 1

The L Bend - this position is particularly good for small spaces, it allows you to stretch around corners to maximise your sleeping area.

No. 2

Legs Apart - this one is good for big spaces where you want to maximise your 'personal space' and stop encroachment from those wanting to share your special area. It makes you appear bigger than you actually are.

No. 3

The Flat Head - this position is perfect for squeezing in to tight spaces and is, in fact, more comfortable than in looks.

Hope this comes in handy - your furry friend FAZ

Monday, July 30, 2007

What do you guys think of this article?

London Metro Today: Every cat owner has wondered what their beloved pet gets up to during hours away from home. But one owner has satisfied his curiosity by developing a special portable 'catcam', which takes photographs every 90 seconds as the feline goes on his travels.

The pictures show Mr Lee crawling under cars, into secret dens, meeting other moggies, eyeing up treehouses – and even coming face to face with a huge blue snake in a garden. Mr Lee's owner, Juergen Perthold, said: 'I always wonder where he has been during his day. 'Sometimes he returns hungry, sometimes with traces of fights and sometimes he just stays out all day. That's when I got the idea for the camera.'

The 34-year-old used his engineering knowledge to build the digital catcam which fits around Mr Lee's neck. He said: 'My wife Jenny and the children thought it was a great idea and the pictures are amazing. 'Every day we wonder what will be on the camera and we love finding out.' The tiny camera is encased in a protective box so it is not damaged as Mr Lee goes about his daily business. Mr Perthold, from South Carolina in the US, added: 'I would change the camera every time Mr Lee returned home. 'We couldn't see all of the photos but the ones we did see were truly amazing.'

And for anyone keen to find out what their own cat gets up to on its prowls, Mr Perthold is selling catcams on his website for approximately £23.Original London Metro Article.
I don't think I want one of these cameras - some things are personal!
On the other paw, I could get a photo of that bully Hefty Tabby to show you what he looks like.
FAZ

My Monday Me Me Me


The lovely lady cats Ariel and Shilgiah tagged me for the Proverb Me Me Me.

A proverb is a simple and concrete saying popularly known and repeated, which expresses a truth, based on common sense or the practical experience of mankind. They are often metaphorical.


Here is my proverb (which is one I believe and endorse wholeheartedly) ...


"The early bird gets the worm and the early cat gets the bird"


but, unfortunately, I usually forget to set my alarm and am nearly always asleep at this crucial hour. Purr.

Sunday, July 29, 2007

My Full Monty for Monty Q

Sorry Monty Q, I couldn't work out how to post this on the official competition site, so I am doing it here instead. Purrs from me. FAZ

Friday, July 27, 2007

Politics Explained - with Cows

I may only be a cat but I am interested in Politics and People. I found the following explanation very useful in understanding world culture. I am not sure where it originated so can't credit the source sadly - love FAZ

p.s. Pabs - the Australian one is right at the end and I love the British one as well.



Politics Explained - with Cows.

SOCIALISM
You have 2 cows.
You give one to your neighbour.

COMMUNISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and gives you some milk.

FASCISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and sells you some milk.

NAZISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and shoots you.

BUREAUCRATISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both, shoots one, milks the other, and then throws the milk away...

TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM
You have two cows.
You sell one and buy a bull.
Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows.
You sell them and retire on the income.

SURREALISM
You have two giraffes.
The government requires you to take harmonica lessons

AN AMERICAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows.
Later, you hire a consultant to analyse why the cow has dropped dead.

ENRON VENTURE CAPITALISM
You have two cows.
You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit
opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with
an associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax exemption for five cows.
The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island Company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells the rights to all seven cows back to your listed company.
The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more.

You sell one cow to buy a new president of the United States, leaving you with nine cows.
No balance sheet provided with the release.
The public then buys your bull.

THE ANDERSEN MODEL
You have two cows.
You shred them.

A FRENCH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You go on strike, organise a riot, and block the roads, because you want three cows.

A JAPANESE CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk.
You then create a clever cow cartoon image called 'Cowkimon' and market it worldwide.

A GERMAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You re-engineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month, and milk themselves.

AN ITALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows, but you don't know where they are.
You decide to have lunch.

A RUSSIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You count them and learn you have five cows.
You count them again and learn you have 42 cows.
You count them again and learn you have 2 cows.
You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka.

A SWISS CORPORATION
You have 5000 cows. None of them belong to you.
You charge the owners for storing them.

A CHINESE CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You have 300 people milking them.
You claim that you have full employment, and high bovine productivity.

You arrest the newsman who reported the real situation.

AN INDIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You worship them.

A BRITISH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
Both are mad.

AN IRAQI CORPORATION
Everyone thinks you have lots of cows.
You tell them that you have none.
No-one believes you, so they bomb the **** out of you and invade your country.
You still have no cows, but at least now you are part of a Democracy....

A NEW ZEALAND CORPORATION
You have two cows.
The one on the left looks very attractive.

AN AUSTRALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
Business seems pretty good.
You close the office and go for a few beers to celebrate.

Tuesday, July 24, 2007

Bird Watching - and it's not what you think!

Well, I got the shock of my nine lives yesterday.

With all the rain about and all the bad weather at sea, we've had seagulls inland in London.

Yesterday I saw a large gull attack and kill a pigeon. Even I won't take on a bird as large as a pigeon and the seagull was nearly as big as me.

I don't suppose there are many fish for them to catch in central London.


After the seagull had eaten half the pigeon, then a kestrel (which is a type of falcon and normally hunts in fields) came in and finished eating everything that was left.

This type of behaviour makes me look like a pussycat - OH - I am a pussycat aren't I.

FAZ the Ornithologist

Monday, July 23, 2007

The Pond

As I've been trapped inside all week with the rain, I decided it was about time I had a bit of an exploration around Wimbledon common to see what was happening.

First of all I had to get past the cars and the big clippy cloppy horses, that was a bit scary but nothing compared to hefty tabby.

Then I got to the pond to see if the heron was there. Not one heron in sight, nor ducks, nor moor hens, nor coots. They must have been hiding in the rushes at the sides.

I had a quick look in the rushes, but I still couldn't see any one.

I even looked under these mushrooms to see if there were any fairies or brownies hiding. But nothing.

So, I decided to go home for a snooze. I was quite tuckered out after my big adventure.


YOUR FRIEND FAZ

Friday, July 20, 2007

What do you thnk?

As I've already mentioned, it's rather wet here in England at present. Even wetter than normal!

So, in order to maintain my outdoor lifestyle, I've developed this rather cunning hat.

What do you think? I am going to call it a Fazbrella.

with love from Fazbucket

Thursday, July 19, 2007

Oooooh - tight squeeze!

Maybe it's time for another diet?

Wednesday, July 18, 2007

Rain, rain go away

I can't go outside because it's too wet and there's thunder and lightning. I wonder what all the luscious little mice are doing in this weather? Do you think they miss me when I'm not around?


Even the cars have to learn how to swim ...



and the gutters are overflowing ...

Sigh!

Tuesday, July 17, 2007

Lots to tell you today ...

First of all Pablo nominated me for a Schmoozing Blogger award.

"Schmoozing is the natural ability 'to converse casually, especially in order to gain an advantage or make a social connection.' Good schmoozers effortlessly weave their way in and out of the blogosphere, leaving friendly trails and smiles, happily making new friends along the way. They don’t limit their visits to only the rich and successful, but spend some time to say hello to new blogs as well. They are the ones who engage others in meaningful conversations, refusing to let it end at a mere hello - all the while fostering a sense of closeness and friendship."

Now, I get to nominate five Schmoozing pals too. They are Pearl, Tiger Lily, Caesar and Princess, and last but not least the lovely Bee.

Then, MASSIVE EXCITEMENT, Daisy's magnet arrived. Here it is in pride of place on the boiler so Daisy can stay warm (I don't think she's used to our chilly English weather).


Finally, the girl human got her t-shirt from Baaahhh!!!. This is for her to play tennis in but I got to smell it first.

What a super day! FAZ

Monday, July 16, 2007

SPEAKING OF BAD HABITS ...

WARNING:
THOSE WITH A WEAK
DISPOSITION LOOK AWAY
NOW!



Friday, July 13, 2007

HAPPY FRIDAY THE 13TH - may you have only good luck all day

Here's my me me me


Cat Clip Art

Thanks to Parker, Ariel and Pablo for tagging me. It takes me a while to do these as I have to think extremely hard to make sure I give you the best answers I can, so here it is.

What were you doing 10 years ago?
I know it's hard to believe but I wasn't invented yet.

What were you doing a year ago?
Well I checked my diary and in true Bridget Jones' style:

3 luscious little mice
1 cat treat
152 cat munchies

5 snacks I enjoy
See above, plus tuna in spring water and birds (except I am barred by the humans from catching those)

5 songs to which I know all the words
- Pussycat Pussycat, where have you been?
- Fazzy is a special cat (sung to the tuna - sorry Freudian slip - sung to the tune of London Bridge is falling down. The humans sing this all the time.)
- Ack, Ack, Ack (this is my own special song which I sing when I see birds in the garden or want to chase the torch beam)
that's about it - I'm an Amazonian girl hunter not a cabaret singer (despite my Pink Wig below)

5 things I would do if I was a millionaire
- Buy all my blogging pals a year's supply of tuna in spring water (it's the best)
- Pay for all the poor pussies who don't have homes to live in a nice shelter
- I'd do the same for doggies too (cause it's kind AND it would get them off the streets)
- Pay all the vets bills for the poor humans that couldn't afford to look after their pets
- Pay protection money to Hefty Tabby so he would stop chasing me

5 bad habits
Oh my goodness only five, let's see ...
- biting when I get excited
- leaving half eaten mice lying around (I personally don't see this as a bad habit but the humans do)
- catching little birds (ditto above)
- climbing into windows of houses where I don't live
- shedding on the sofa and using it to sharpen my claws

5 things I enjoy doing
See 5 bad habits above

5 things I would never wear again
I only really wear a collar (all those pictures of me in hats is photoshop - but don't tell the humans I told you)

5 Favourite toys
- Binka
- Richard the Lionheart
- Cutsie Kitten
- the girl human
- the boy human

I haven't tagged anyone as I think I am really late with this me, me me. If you want to join in though let me know and I will officially tag you. FAZ

Thursday, July 12, 2007

We've got broadband at home now.

So. to celebrate, here is me with pink party hair. What do you think Anastasia?
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Friday, July 06, 2007

It's about time!

Here's me, taking care of things whilst everyone else is off gallivanting around the world. Goodness knows, I don't particularly want to go with them (I get travel sick and I can't bear the thought of those rabies injections) but I do think they're taking advantage of my goodwill, leaving me home alone to take care of the house and protect it from burglars, etc.

At least I got lots of cuddles and scritches when they got back and they did promise not to go away again for a while.

FAZ

Thursday, July 05, 2007

Greetings from Geneva

Dear Blogging Buddies,

Here we are on the train from Vevey to Geneva. Swiss trains are very fast and they always run on time. So, it was just over an hour to get to Geneva and the vishus deer ran after us but they couldn't catch us. So long vishus deer!

And, here we are in beautiful Geneva (at the other end of the Lake) in front of the famous fountain. We didn't want to get too close in case we got wet. See how high up it goes?

Back with Faz tomorrow. Bob and Miriam said she's been inside a lot because of the rain - it's been sunny every day here though. We miss you FAZ!
PURRS from us.

Wednesday, July 04, 2007

Fred and Ginger in Switzerland - Vevey

Hi everycat - Fred and Ginger here again, this time we're in Switzerland. This is the view from near our hotel overlooking Vevey and Montreaux at the end of Lac Leman - isn't it pretty?

This is our Swiss cousin Jean-Claude chat - he warned us to be careful because there's loads of vishus deer in this area ...


... and here's one looking for us - he had big teeth - thank goodness we could hide in the long grass

Then we went down to the Lac Leman and SCARY BERRY we saw a giant fork. Fortunately we didn't see the giant human that had been using it.

Then back to our hotel for a romantic dinner a deux for me and Ginger. Here we are keeping warm by the candle light.

Then the view at night over Vevey - tomorrow we're in Geneva


BIG HUGS - Fred and Ginger

Monday, July 02, 2007