Monday, May 18, 2009

Bob sent us this - we thought it was worth sharing

The Dog's Diary
8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing!
9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing!
9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
12:00 pm - Milk bones! My favorite thing!
1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
3:00 pm - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!
5:00 pm - Dinner! My favorite thing!
7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!
11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!

The Cat's Diary
Day 983 of my captivity.
My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects.
They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed
hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the
rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep
up my strength.

The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an
attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet.
Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their
feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it
clearly demonstrates my capabilities. However, they merely made
condescending comments about what a "good little hunter" I am. Bastards!

There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight.
I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event.
However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that
my confinement was due to the power of "allergies." I must learn what
this means, and how to use it to my advantage.

Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my
tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try
this again tomorrow, but at the top of the stairs.

I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and
snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released,
and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded.
The bird must be an informant. I observe him communicate with the
guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move.
My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated
cell, so he is safe.

For now...

11 comments:

pughy said...

Yes it was worth sharing, Thanks for that, made mum and me smile...


Hugs GJ xx

Camie's Kitties said...

Mom printed that out for us a while ago. We agree with everything on there.

Tavi, Cody, Camie, Miss Jade and Gracie

Puss-in-Boots said...

Tell me, Faz...do you really think that? Surely not...I think you're too affectionate and loving to be so ungrateful.

Mary Timme said...

I've seen this one before Faz and it made me laugh then too! Dogs, go figure!

Shadow / Molly said...

The mom giggled, she likes this one a lot!

Pinky Ash and Boo said...

That's very funny, we enjoyed it.

meemsnyc said...

Hahahahha, that was awesome!

The Cat Realm said...

HAHAHAHAHAHA! Isn't that the truth!
You might have watched the latest CCSI caper already (we are beyond being organized!) - but if you didn't - you got to check it out!!! It is done totally different than the others and just way cool!!!

Evy said...

A little true...but I love my servants.

Cat with a garden said...

Hehehehehe. That was funny!

Poppy Q said...

That was great - how true!!